We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
