my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize