My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She even gives head with a lisp.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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