Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
