Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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