just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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