I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
