9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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