we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
