Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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