I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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