he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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