Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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