I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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