a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
