clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Fuck appropriateness.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
