I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....