the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
