You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
