eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?