Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.