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• (424): View more from California

  I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (530): View more from California

  smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"

  (406): View more from Montana

  Midwestern nice.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.

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• (585): View more from New York

  pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.

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• (518): View more from New York

  It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm home now if you wanna come over.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.

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