there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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