Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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