I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
tell me about the fingering
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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