i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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