When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
