Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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