Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.