Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you had me at cake vodka
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
