can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize