Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you inspire me to be a worse person
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Can you bring me the toilet please
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
