you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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