I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
