I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize