Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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