Tell her she can't have a vagina
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
