hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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