Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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