I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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