i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize