I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
