**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Are we still banned from the library?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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