Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
