Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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