Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
