I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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