DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
