Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Rumble strips road head = magical
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize