somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize