Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
