On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Don't tell me you're on acid again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
