His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
