I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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