My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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