Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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