That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
