all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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